North Shore Collaborative: Bullying and Intimidation

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	Resource Topics Abuse Domestic Violence Sexual Assault/Abuse Alcohol and Drug Use/Abuse Bullying & Intimidation Educational Issues Fetal Alcohol Syndrome/Effect Learning Disabilities & Special Education School Attendance & Truancy Grief and Loss Mental Health for Children & Youth ADD/ADHD Depression Eating Disorders Self Injury Money Matters Parenting Sex and Sexuality		Bullying and Intimidation We have all heard of, observed, or experienced intimidation and bullying or perhaps we have been the bully ourselves. Perhaps our children have been the victim of a bully. A bully's goal is to make us feel small, afraid and powerless. Some of the reasons for a bully's behavior are: they want to be liked so they try to show how powerful they are, or they are angry or frustrated, or they themselves have been bullied by someone else. In this way, bullying can be contagious. Children's examples of bullying include: Name calling Teasing Pushing or pulling about Hitting or attacking Taking a backpack and other possessions Spreading rumors Ignoring or leaving a child left out Forcing money or possessions to be handed over Attacking because of religion or color Types of bullying have been identified and categorized in order to more clearly identify and help parents understand what may be happening. The types are: Physical bullying happens when a child is hit, pushed, has hair pulled, and so on. Verbal bullying, by far the most common, is name calling, making sexist and racist comments, verbal threats, cruel jokes about appearance, disabilities, religion, and other idiosyncrasies. We need to stop calling this form of abuse "teasing", which is appropriate ONLY when applied to a playful situation, when both people are having fun. Relational bullying means gossiping or exclusion and thrives in a climate that encourages the formation of cliques. This form of bullying can become severe in middle school and high school. Most experts agree that children aren't born bullies. They learn to be aggressive through their environment -- through their families and peers, and through what they read, hear and see in the mass media. Bullying is a learned behavior and behaviors can be changed. So what should we do to protect our children from bullies? If Your Child Is Being Intimidated or Bullied: Inform the school immediately if there's a problem. Record dates times, names and what happened. Do not be embarrassed. Avoid blaming anyone. Get as much information as you can about what is happening. Discuss and role play with your child ways of dealing with a bully, including walking away and getting help and acting more assertive. (see Four Assertive Responses below.) Try to enhance your child's courage and self-confidence. Understand that bullying does not have to involve physical injury to be harmful. Continuous verbal and emotional abuse must also be prevented. Watch for signs that your child is being bullied: withdrawal, loss of appetite, a drop in grades, not wanting to go to school, bruises, torn clothing, or a need for "extra" school supplies or lunch money. Talk with your child immediately if you suspect a problem. 4 Assertive Responses for Children to Use when Being Bullied #1 Say what you SEE:"Every time I see you, you're picking on me" #2 Say what you FEEL: "I don't like it! " #3 Say what you WANT: "I want you to stop!" #4 WALK AWAY! If there is continued intimidation/bullying, keep walking! Let your child know that when they are being bullied, they can tell a safe adult to get help. If Your Child is Intimidating or Bullying Others: Inform the school immediately if there's a problem. Try not to be defensive. Get as much information as you can about what happened. Avoid blaming anyone. Do not ask why. Listen to your child's explanation for the bullying behavior. Make it clear that bullying is not acceptable behavior. Specify consequences if the behavior continues. Role play new behavior. Reward more appropriate behavior. Resources Contact the school principal: Two Harbors High School Principal: Bob Nyberg (218) 834-8216 Ext. 8202 Two Harbors Elementary Schools Principal: Bob Lackore (218) 834-8216 Ext. 8222 Silver Bay Schools Principal: George Starkovich (218) 226-4437 Ext. 8101 Cook County Middle and High School Principal: John Engelking (218) 387-2273 Ext. 603 Sawtooth Mountain Elementary School Principal: Chuck Futterer (218) 387-2271 Ext. 612 Sawtooth Mountain Elementary School Dean: Jim Larsen (218)387-1273 Ext. 610 Grand Portage Elementary School Dean: Roxie Sherer (218) 475-2345 Great Expectations Charter School (218) 387-9322 learn@GreatExpectationsSchool.com Additional Resources www.pacerkidsagainstbullying.org NEW!!! www.bullying.org stopbullyingnow.net Colorado Safe Schools www.nasbe.org The Parent's Book about Bullying: Changing the Course of Your Child's Life by William Voors Disclaimer: Listing of resources and websites is for informational purposes only. Inclusion does not indicate endorsement of any resources or website.

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